Category Archives: challenge

That mean girl..

“I accept myself unconditionally, right now”

That’s a quote from the documentary “Hungry For Change”.  Check it out if you can.. it’s very interesting.

It really stuck with me.

How much time do we waste worrying about things we can’t change?  I sometimes joke about all the things I could accomplish if I wasn’t constantly thinking about my body.  WTF is that?!  How boring am I?

Are things better than they were yesterday in my head?

Who knows.  I’m trying.

1. I went out, I ate a huge, delicious salad covered in wonderful, healthy things.  I totally enjoyed it.

2. I ate a treat.  I thought about it.  I wasn’t eating it because I was upset, or because I was bored, or hungry.  I really enjoyed it.  I felt some guilty feelings about it, and I just tried to quiet those thoughts.  It wasn’t perfect, but I’m trying.

3. I went the the gym and did a sweaty, awesome body pump class and totally enjoyed it.

4. I had a nap in the middle of the day for no particular reason.

All in all, I treated myself well.  I did nice things for my body in the form of healthy food, exercise, rest, and treats.  I tried to switch off the guilty, mean girl in my brain.  And I’ll keep trying.

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I’m Not Fat.

I just had to remind myself of that fact.

I’m having one of those days…

I am really starting to feel like I might need some help with the negative thoughts that roll around my head regarding my body.  I know I’m in an industry where I have to wear bikinis onstage every night and where all the women around me look like supermodels.. but I was cast in the show, they obviously don’t think I’m fat.  It’s just me.  It’s in my head.  I know that.  It doesn’t make it any easier…

Emotional Eating:

I think I had my first experience with this the other night.  I mean, I know I’ve done it in the past, we all do at some point, I’m sure.  But this time, it was just so obvious to me that it was happening.  I’d gone to the gym, gone grocery shopping, come home ready to cook a nice meal for my family.  I was hungry and in a bad mood.  They were already eating when I arrived.  Fine.  Then my brother made a comment about my jeans being “mom” jeans and I lost it.  Like full tears, calls to Mr. Best Things, freak out that I am too fat to wear jeans and that I was embarrassed that I’d just been seen wearing them.  WTF. Easy there psycho.  Then I proceeded to eat almost an entire baguette by myself in the kitchen while I cooked my dinner.  I was hungry, yes. But the whole baguette?  I knew it was weird as it was happening but I couldn’t stop it…

Body Dysmorphia:

I am really beginning to think I’m affected by this.  It almost seems like the healthier I eat, the more I exercise, the more I think about my body, the more I stress and the worse I feel about myself.  I know that right now I’m the most toned I’ve ever been.  Weight aside.  I have been strength training, running, and dancing more consistently now than ever.  So what gives?  Why do I feel worse about myself than ever?

Comparison:

I am surrounded by beautiful women at work.  And not just like at the cubicle next to you.  Like changing in the room with you.  We have no secrets and they’re all stunning.  I am actually JEALOUS.  I see a 40 something woman in the grocery store wearing skinny jeans.  I think “she’s probably had kids and she’s twice your age and her thighs are thinner than yours”.  I am jealous of strangers.  This is not normal.

Lack of Positivity:

I have always wished things about my body were different.  Like I want longer legs.  Good luck, Kayla.  That’s impossible.  No matter how far you run, how little you eat. Impossible.  I used to be able to find things I liked about myself.  But those thoughts are moving farther and farther out of my reach these days.

What now?

I’m not sure.  Some part of me feels like saying all this stuff out loud to the internet will help relieve their burden.  Admit you have a problem, right?  Thinking all of those things, and then beating yourself up for thinking them, then trying to hide them?  So. much. drama.  And it’s all in my head.

I’m also going to make a list right now of things I like about my body.  Please don’t think this is easy for me or that I’m boasting.  I’m in a pretty deep emotional hole right now and I think forcing a little bit of positive thinking might help me dig my way out.

Good Things:

-The way my legs look when I’m doing the squat track in Body Pump.  They are big, but they’re muscular.  They’re strong, and they’re becoming more defined.

-The fact that I am out there on the festival stage with my stomach out in two different numbers and I not dead.  It’s not easy, but I’m doing it.  It can only get easier, right?

I hope this list will get longer one of these days…

Thank you for listening.

 

 

Weekly Workouts

Here we are.  My weekly round up.

The weather has been pretty stunning around here for mid March.  It’s full blown spring.  Which means it’s full blown “I can finally run outside” season.  I did my Monday run and my Sunday run outside and it was glorious.  Monday’s run was a fast 5K (28 minutes, which is one minute slower than my PR) followed by a slow miles and some walking.  Sunday’s run was my “long run”.  I’m secretly training for a Half Marathon this summer.  Guess it’s not so secret anymore.  The most I ran last summer was 7 miles.  So I’m working my way back up slowly and seeing how I feel in a month or so.  I haven’t been running a lot over the winter (-40C in Edmonton.. I WILL NOT run outside), so I’ve lost my “base” to a degree.  I feel great when I’m running, but I’m aware that my leg muscles are probably swearing to each other saying “what is this chick doing to us?!”.  I just can’t risk an injury.  So slow and steady it will be.

Check out the blooms!  I’m in Ontario, let me remind you. It’s still full on winter in Edmonton right now.

Love a daffodil!!

Here’s Garmin proof of my 5 miler!  I love my Garmin 305!

Here’s to another good week of exercise consistency!  Did you have a good week?!

Weekly Workouts

I used to do this a lot more, but I thought I’d try to start posting an overview of my workouts again.  Just to keep me motivated and seeing my progress.  I’m going for consistency here people.  Slow and steady wins the race.  I’m proud of my stats this week!

Goodbye Old Friend: Diet Soda.

Diet Coke. Oh Diet Coke. It’s sexy, isn’t it? Or that’s what they want us to think.

My name is Kayla, and I’m a Diet Coke-Aholic.  Or I was. I “gave up” diet coke on my birthday (Oct 27th) in 2011.  I loved the stuff.  I think I still do.  I haven’t gone so far as to have sexy dreams about it or anything, but I’d say at least once a day, I think about having one.   It’s been extra hard around our house because we bought a case of Diet Coke for our mamas to drink at Christmas.  So I have a couple of cans in the fridge; cold, sexy cans calling my name… AH!

So I’ve decided to make it public. I’m off Diet Coke. I’m not going to drink it anytime soon.  I’m not one of those people that can have a sip every now and then and be ok.  I’m just off it.

The thing about Diet Coke, is that it’s just making my problems worse.  I think “ooh, I feel like a sweet treat but I don’t want to consume the calories, I’ll just have a diet pop”.  But the thing is, nothing comes without a price.  People are even starting to test whether diet pop actually makes you GAIN weight. WTF? I can see how this might be true, though.  I makes your sweet tooth activate.  And aspartame is WAY sweeter than regular sugar so you trick yourself into getting all snacky!  Other than weight gain (god forbid, right?!…) there are some serious health side effects that have been studied as well.  Bone loss, tooth enamel damage, and loss of kidney function are just some that I have found while reading around online. (source)  All this negative information should really make me hate the stuff right?  Here’s hoping!

Are you a diet soda addict? Or were you? Any ideas on how I can get over this craving for good?

Crazy Times.

Guess who dyed her hair a crazy colour today and crossed one thing off her 30 before 30 list?

I’m going streaking.

Got your attention? Not like naked at a sporting event.. ha!

This kind of streaking.

I’m going to be running an average of a mile per day from now until New Years as a way to stay motivated throughout the holiday season.  I figure, it’s not always easy to keep moving during Christmas, but I can do one mile, can’t I?  I mean, if I wanted to get it over with I could just sprint it out and it’d be over in like 8 or 9 minutes (or 10 or 11 these days who are we kidding).  And once in a while, I’m sure I’ll get on the treadmill, pound out a mile and keep going for the heck of it. I think this is just the kind of challenge I was looking for.  Nothing too overwhelming when you have family Christmas happening at your house for the first time ever.. (WTF?), just doable. I like it.

I ran my mile already today! Took me about 10 minutes. Now it’s done, and I’m off to do my show.

Happy Streaking! Join in the fun!

30 before 30.

I am 24, I realize.  But for some reason, I’ve been feeling like life is passing me by of late. I think the “twenties” are a deceptively tough time for women. I kind of feel like any moment now, my life is going to get ahead of me. Any moment now, I’ll jump on the “get engaged, get married, buy a house, have some kiddies” train.  And, don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited about that stage of my life. Like, really excited. Anyone who knows me, knows I’ve had the baby bug since I was about 16 years old. I just want to make sure that, in my life, I feel fulfilled. No matter how many other things are demanding my attention, I want to have fun, attainable, personal goals that I can work towards. Things that make me a happier, more well rounded person.

I am one of those super lucky people who made a career out of my hobby; dancing/performing. I LOVE that about my life. But, that’s the thing about hobbies… people need them to feel happy. We need something that takes us away from everything else in our lives. I’ve felt a little lost in my life without my “hobby” of dance. Because, as much as I love my job, it’s still a job some days. Lately, I’ve been searching for some hobbies/passions that can help me when I need a break from my job.

Enter, 30 before 30.  30 goals. to be completed by the time I’m 30. I didn’t want these to be like “have a family” or “buy a house”.  Stuff like that is so hard to pinpoint. There are so many unknowns with having kids and stuff like that. I want these goals to be about me. So that nothing outside of me can get in the way of me achieving them.

30 before 30.

1. Run a half-marathon

2. Run a marathon

3. Compete in 30 races

4. Complete a 30 day yoga challenge

5. Learn to sew on a sewing machine

6. Take a photography class

7. Take a cooking class

8. Complete a daily photography challenge

9. Blog everyday for 30 days

10. Make a piece of clothing for myself

11. Weigh my happy weight

12. Host a fantastic dinner party

13. Dye my hair an interesting colour

14. Take Mr. Best Things to South Africa to meet my family

15. Take a hot air balloon ride.

16. Be able to still do right and left leg splits and a straddle with my chest on the floor

17. Take a long road trip

18. Become a certified yoga teacher

19. Write a guest post for someone else’s blog

20. Get 100 views in a day on Best Things Happen…  (March 10th, 2012)

21. Go bungee jumping/sky diving.. something thrilling and mind bogglingly high off the ground

22. Climb a crazy high mountain.  One that takes more than a day is more than sufficient.

23. Stay up all night and watch the sun rise over a beach somewhere beautiful

24. Backpack through Europe with Mr. Best Things.

25. Spend a summer in NYC.

26. Create a recipe and publish a tutorial with beautiful, edited pictures

27. Get a degree

28. Go skinny dipping with Mr. Best Things

29. Volunteer somewhere

30. Move to a new home

River Road Run – 10K

What a day!  I can’t believe I can run for an hour without dying!  It’s crazy.  I am so high on life!  But let’s back up…

Things got off to an early start, on the road just after 8a.m. for a 10a.m. start.  I was excited and nervous because I’ve never done a 10K before AND I’ve never run a race by myself!  I was heading to the River Road Run in St. Mary’s.  It was super small and casual, lots of local families, no chip timing, no microphones.  Just a bunch of runners, running.  Oh, and cute kids busting it out for the 3K.

The starting line was literally a line of tape across the road.  They started late.  There were only 40 or so runners, and I was smiling!  The whistle blew and off we went.People were full on sprinting.  In that moment, I was terrified.  I am not a fast runner, I am a new runner.  I just want to finish and not collapse at the end.  This was a small, fast, experienced field of  runners.  I managed to keep my wits about me and after a too fast first kilometre, I slowed it down to an average pace of 9:50 minutes/mile.  The course was an out and back, which I find tough.  I am too aware that every step I take out is just a step I have to take back!  But after the 5K turn around point I was still smiling.  It was a quiet, country course that got a little lonely.  I was wishing that people would chat more! I tried to talk a bit, but people were pretty into their ipods.  Does that bother anyone else?  I guess they wanted to PR?!  I ended up running with just one ear bud in for most of it.  I could only see one girl in front of me for the bulk of the run… I was lonely!  I missed running with Mr. Best Things!Before I knew it, I could see the finish line and my lovely parents who were there cheering me on!This was just after I’d done a cheer for them!  I was having so much fun, even all by my self!I booked it across the finish line having blown past the two girls I was pacing with for the first half of the race.  I finished in an automatic PR (because it was my first 10K) of 1:00:26!  I am so happy with that time!  I actually finished about 6 or 7th last of all the 10Kers… it was a FAST GROUP!  In the end, what a fun and exciting day I had.  I have caught the running bug so hard!  I can’t stop. I’m looking for a couple more little races before the winter sets in.

Did you race this weekend?  Training for anything?

August Goal Update

Here we are nearing the end of August!  I can’t believe it’s nearly September once again.  I happen to LOVE fall.  I think it has something to do with my birthday being at the end of October.  I’m looking forward to changing leaves, pumpkins, PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES from Starbucks, my birthday, and crisp fall mornings!  I’m also really looking forward to setting my September goals soon!

In case you missed it, here are my August Goals!  Let’s see where I’m at with these goals…

1) Lose 4 Lbs. this month.  Well, I’ve officially lost 4.8 lbs.  So I consider this one slammed out of the park!  Home run with the bases loaded!

2)Run 24 miles this month.  As of this morning, I have run 26.17 miles in August!  Yeah for setting goals and seeing them through!

3)Next step in life plan.  I have taken a Zumba class and fallen in love.  I need to teach this one day.  I was so inspired.  To dance, to shake it, to sweat, and to have fun while doing it.  The class I wanted to take was full, so I’ll have to wait on that.  I don’t have time to take my CanFitPro certification this fall because of work.  But I have these ideas now.  These passions I’m working towards.  Now all I need to do is keep taking classes and learning so that when I get the certifications, I can go full speed ahead!

4)Ten Second Tidy.  I made my bed EVERY morning this month!  So proud.  My room and surrounding areas have definitely been neater and more organized this month.  Not perfect, but definitely an improvement.

5)Wear normal people clothes.  I definitely made and effort.  It was tough because of doing shows and working out so much.  But whenever possible, I wore cute summer dresses and shorts.  Which let’s be honest, are the most fun outfits to wear anyway.

Overall, I am so proud of myself for achieving so many of the things I set out to achieve.  There really are some easy tricks for goal setting.

Goals Must Be:

S – specific

M- measurable

A- attainable

R – realisitc

T- time targeted

Onwards and upwards!  September has never looked sweeter!

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